I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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