remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
