Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
