i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
