There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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