Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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