If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
She announced her abortion via fbk
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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