oh god the rape fog is back!
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
