Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
