I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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