did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
