i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
