i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
