Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize