Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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