I must be too annoying 4 u.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
