So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
