Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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