if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
