this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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