You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
