Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
This baby is an asshole
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
