the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
