We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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