You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
