I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
