Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
