I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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