yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
