with your own penis?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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