I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
