Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
