Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
