I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
