you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
