I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
