Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
