I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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