I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
