Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
