And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
