wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
