You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
