wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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