you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
