Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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