They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My dick has a subreddit
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
