I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
