I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
