I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
